Sofa Surfer by Malcolm Duffy

Author:Malcolm Duffy [Duffy, Malcolm]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781786697660
Publisher: Head of Zeus

Twenty-seven

It was the day the Drivers were due back.

A team of forensic experts wouldn’t pay as much attention to their house as I did. I checked the shower and soap for any signs of eighteen-year-old hair. I made sure the dishes were cleaned and put away. I plumped the sofa to remove any Spider impressions. I cleaned the toilets. I put new toilet rolls on the holders. I hoovered the house from top to bottom. I even wiped the tables and surfaces to remove any fingerprints.

‘Should get extra for all this,’ said Spider, watching as I made sure the paintings were hung straight.

‘I want you to do the same when you leave my house. It’s got to be spotless, do you hear? Spotless.’

‘I hear.’

Hoped she did. Spider had already put all the lights on in a house that was meant to be empty, stood up in front of the sitting-room window, and walked out of the Drivers’ in broad daylight. But that wasn’t my only problem. I also had to get her out and back to Middleton Woods. Though I reckoned this hurdle shouldn’t be too hard to clear. She’d already left once on her own. And if anyone saw me leaving with her I’d say she was helping me clean the place. If they asked why she was carrying a rucksack I’d say it was full of cleaning products, not stolen laptops.

As it turned out, I didn’t have to use any of my excuses. I set the alarm and we left the house. It was early in the morning, the streets in this part of Ilkley were devoid of people. Either still on holiday or at a Neighbourhood Watch meeting. Twenty minutes later we were back at Spider’s old home. The sticks and the plastic sheet were still there, and together we arranged them, tepee-style, to create a den.

‘I’ve checked the forecast. It’s going to be dry tonight.’

Spider nodded.

‘Also got you this,’ I said, handing her a piece of paper with the address of our house, and the alarm code, in case she forgot it.

She came over and gave me one of her squeezy hugs.

‘Then after staying at our place you can head off to Leeds with your cousin. Get a job. Bloater, isn’t that what you say?’

‘It’s belter,’ she muttered.

Thought Spider would be happy the way things were working out, but her face told me otherwise.

‘What’s up?’

‘Knackered.’

Knew it was more than that, but I didn’t have time to find out what.

‘We leave for Wales tomorrow morning. Wait till it gets dark before going to our house. And whatever you do, don’t turn the lights on. Keep away from the windows. Stay quiet. Don’t eat too much food. If there are any empty packets or banana skins, take them with you. We’re back on Monday. Probably late. Leave early on Monday morning. Very early. Go over the garden wall and up the alleyway. And please, please, please, don’t leave a mess. Got that?’

Spider nodded.

‘I’ll take your number, and text you to make sure everything’s okay.

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